I suspect that if you're "inside" the religious tradition, the rite is comforting. It's just that if you're not, it really doesn't work. Interesting, though, that you have a tradition where the church/chapel part is optional—for us it's more likely to be the food afterwards part that's opted out of.

I'm in favour of a bit of restraint in the matter of personally-made rituals (I'd have been horrified if my groom had wittered on for pages and ended up weeping, Joey Fatone style!) but it is nice to have them *personal*.