I threatened promised to do this, and nobody dissuaded me. But we can dispense with the babies. I'm not that hungry.

Warnings: non-con, elephantiasis, feats of unnatural strength, unorthodox use of a lava lamp

O Lance! Where did you put the lava lamp?

The slowly opened hotel door revealed
A pair of sleepers twined upon the couch
Another lying face down on the floor
and television static on the screen.

Methinks this was a million years ago,
when telly ceased at twelve or thereabouts
and VCRs were real.

Anon my tale.
( Read more... )

I think I got all the best bits in. *flees*

ETA: The gushing fount of my inspiration, now on AO3. And, for those who have not been exposed to its glory, The Lava Lamp Story In Pictures is worth half an hour of your time—five minutes to read, twenty-five to recover.