my personal beliefs are that funerals are for the living

I agree, absolutely. Actually, I keep meaning to write down instructions for my own funeral, on the assumption that it'll be easier for other people to deal with it if they have somewhere to start! But I'm easily distracted.

I think we're *probably* more traditional here about not wearing black to weddings. Not sure, though, it's a while since I've been to a wedding. And black for funerals hasn't gone - in fact, after the funeral on Friday we gathered in the garden, and could tell when a separate funeral group arrived as they were all distinctively in dark colours.