Insanely, I meme

[pensnest]

I saw this on turps33's LJ, and thought... oh, why the hell not. So.

Name three fics you think I will never, ever, ever write. In return, I will attempt to write a snippet of one of them.

Bring it on.

Comments

[pensnest]

If you have them - why not!

[ravenbat.livejournal.com]

Nick and JC are performers in an old-fashioned sideshow circus. JC is struggling to keep their relationship together, but Nick keeps pulling away. JC is a swordswallower and Nick's the fortune teller. Nick keeps getting in trouble because all his "visions" are bad/evil things. JC wants him to do a reading for him, but Nick won't because once before he dreamt that JC died during a performance. Nick cheats with the show's "half man/half woman" Lance.


AJ develops a strange allergy to eggs, everytime he's around eggs - doesn't even have to eat them - he starts sneezing or coughing. Each time he does... he lays an egg. JC thinks he's joking, then AJ shows him. JC wants to know if AJ could actually have one of them hatch, would it work -- would JC need to fertilize it first -- would whatever it is have feathers when it hatched -- would they have to feed it like a mama bird does?

[turloughishere.livejournal.com]

Nick cheats with the show's "half man/half woman" Lance.

*snicker* That's evil!!

[ravenbat.livejournal.com]

*bats eyes and looks innocent*

[pensnest]

*bows in awe* You can really think up the crack, can't you! AJ lays eggs - fantastic!

[ravenbat.livejournal.com]

I had a cooking show on tv while coming up with ideas, the fact that they were making an omelette might have something to do with the egg idea. The woman kept talking about allergies (and the normal reaction of them) and then went off on a tangent about free-range birds and egg fertilization. Neither of which is normal for a cooking show and really turned me off on the omelette she was making.

[pensnest]

JC was holding up a pair of Y-fronts that were surely too big for AJ's skinny frame, and looking indignant. "What's with the baggy underpants, man?"

Damn it, he knew he should have gotten to the laundry first. "I need. I needtomakesureitdoesn'tfallout," AJ mumbled.

JC, not unpredictably, looked horrified, and dropped the underpants.

"Not that! I mean, no! It's—look, I told you about the eggs. Last thing I need is to have one of those things sliding down my pants leg and breaking on the floor. Those," he gestured towards them, "catch them. The first two times, I had boxers on, and they just fell right out. Made a helluva mess."

"You know," JC said in a conversational tone, "if you keep insisting that you lay eggs I am going to get the men in white coats to take you away." He grabbed a handful of coloreds from the laundry basket and stuffed everything unceremoniously into the machine. "Seriously, man. Cut it out. It's old already."

"I can prove it. Come on." AJ grabbed his man by the left wrist and dragged him through into the kitchen. "Sit there." He opened the refrigerator and reached inside for an egg. The familiar itching sensation fizzed through his skin, and he felt the tickle building inside his nose, until—"AaaaatCHOO!" The egg in his hand flew into the air, and JC caught it reflexively and set it down on the countertop.

"Gesundheit," said JC. "Oh, and by the way, if that was supposed to be a demonstration, I think your idea of 'laid' needs some work."

AJ ignored him. "Man," he muttered, "that feels weird." He shimmied. The freshly laid egg wobbled against his buttocks, and he unzipped his pants and waggled his butt towards JC. "Take it. Go on, take it."

Nothing happened. AJ stared over his shoulder. JC's glazed eyes were focussed on the bulge in the back of AJ's briefs, and his face was frozen with horror.

AJ sighed and reached around. "Look," he said, putting the egg on the counter top next to the first one, "it's just an egg, okay?"

JC slithered off his stool in a dead faint.

[pensnest]

AJ was kinda wishing he'd never told JC about the egg thing. But how could he have known that JC would—after the initial disbelief, terror and complete freaking out—get so, so enthusiastic about the whole deal? AJ didn't *want* to try and hatch one of them. He didn't, he really didn't want to know what kind of creature would emerge. If anything did. There was no reason to believe anything would hatch, but if anything did, how the hell was he supposed to know if it would have feathers or not? JC seemed to think it would be cool to have tiny imprinted Maclings waddling about, but shit, they might be hideous lizard creatures or something.

Fortunately, there weren't any left in the house. JC didn't realize it, but he'd scrambled the last of them for breakfast this morning.

[ravenbat.livejournal.com]

bwahahahahaha!

*snorts*

bwahahahahaha!

OMG! I love it. That is just freaking great. *claps* Well done Pen, well done.

*runs off to point others here*

[pensnest]

Heh. I'm glad you approve. Thanks for the insane inspiration!

[bellamyrose.livejournal.com]

So awesome. I loved, loved, loved this. :D AJ laying eggs and JC wanting to hatch one, I snorted about AJ scrambling the last one for breakfast. Truly wonderful.

[pensnest]

It's deeply, deeply silly, isn't it! Glad you enjoyed it.

[turps33.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahaha.

That last line just makes the ficlet. So very cool!

[pensnest]

Cracked in every sense, I think. ;-)

[ravenbat.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure what is happening, but I'm trying again to reply to the "egg" ficlet/snippets.

Anyway, hopefully you got the one I sent before, for some reason it's showing up as just a blank reply. Very odd, very very odd.

But, I loved the ficlet. I've sent 3 people over to read it so far and we've all been giggling over it.

Bravo, Pen, bravo. Take a bow, because that was just incredibly well done. :)

[pensnest]

*bows* A wonderfully insane idea!