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pensnestGrrr. DW keeps logging me out. Mildly irritating.
*
A pome. I wrote the original version when I was about 16, and tried to recreate it a few months ago. Then I augmented it with a few more modern references. It is very silly indeed.
Through the perspex
mottled with little grey flecks
(and squashed insects),
the after-effects
I see—through my over-misted specs—
of other people always having sex
do vex
me much. The only roll I get is Andrex(1).
I stare at underwear advertisements of Becks
in snug white pants(2); his mighty muscles flex
and he collects
the cheques.
Optrex(3)
for me, the constant ambient temptation wrecks
my weary eyes, and my computer misdirects
me to a tale of a T Rex
who made Chuck Tingle(4) gay; the story (fifteen pages) doth perplex
and baffle me. My mind dissects
the narrative and checks
a mental image of a dinosaur with tiny arms who nonetheless affects
his lover thus. But in my lonely room in Sussex(6)
I watch on YouTube the phallic SpaceEx
rocket fly and land ex-
actly on its spot. Despair enfolds me. I stare at the stuffed ibex
(lucky thing), and think about my ex
(it's been so long) and the touch of latex
Durex(7).
Alas my solitary self. I reach for Kleenex.
(1) A well-known brand of toilet paper
(2) in the UK, pants are worn underneath trousers
(3) brand of liquid for bathing the eyes
(4) actually, the book(5) A Billionaire Dinosaur Forced Me Gay was written by Hunter Fox, but Chuck Tingle is way more recognisable in the, uh, genre.
(5) well, fifteen pages isn't really. . .
(6) a county on the south coast of England
(7) USAians have Trojans; we have these.
*
A pome. I wrote the original version when I was about 16, and tried to recreate it a few months ago. Then I augmented it with a few more modern references. It is very silly indeed.
Through the perspex
mottled with little grey flecks
(and squashed insects),
the after-effects
I see—through my over-misted specs—
of other people always having sex
do vex
me much. The only roll I get is Andrex(1).
I stare at underwear advertisements of Becks
in snug white pants(2); his mighty muscles flex
and he collects
the cheques.
Optrex(3)
for me, the constant ambient temptation wrecks
my weary eyes, and my computer misdirects
me to a tale of a T Rex
who made Chuck Tingle(4) gay; the story (fifteen pages) doth perplex
and baffle me. My mind dissects
the narrative and checks
a mental image of a dinosaur with tiny arms who nonetheless affects
his lover thus. But in my lonely room in Sussex(6)
I watch on YouTube the phallic SpaceEx
rocket fly and land ex-
actly on its spot. Despair enfolds me. I stare at the stuffed ibex
(lucky thing), and think about my ex
(it's been so long) and the touch of latex
Durex(7).
Alas my solitary self. I reach for Kleenex.
(1) A well-known brand of toilet paper
(2) in the UK, pants are worn underneath trousers
(3) brand of liquid for bathing the eyes
(4) actually, the book(5) A Billionaire Dinosaur Forced Me Gay was written by Hunter Fox, but Chuck Tingle is way more recognisable in the, uh, genre.
(5) well, fifteen pages isn't really. . .
(6) a county on the south coast of England
(7) USAians have Trojans; we have these.