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pensnestI guess most of you were overwhelmed with either the quantity of evidence or, more probably, Real Life, eh? Never mind. I think ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
every1sangel deserves a prize for a jolly good effort, so:
It's not a box of Laphroaig truffles, but it will have to do.
And now, the solution. Here follows the transcript of a tape obtained from the Boardroom at Megalomania, Inc. There will be revelations! Wild emotions! Far, far too many exclamation marks!
Sid Sneer: Right. Now I'm in charge here, and I want to know what's been going on. Because I think that poison in the whisky glass was never intended for my late unlamented father. I think someone was trying to murder me, and I think it was - you!
Lady Cynthia: It's true! And what a pity it didn't work out. You nasty little oik. You were so proud to boast to everyone about how you came up from the gutter and made your way to the top of the company all by yourself. Hah! When Sir Alfred said he was going to tell the truth, you thought he meant he'd tell everyone you were his son - that you grew up in a 1930s semi in Floral Crescent, Croydon! I admit, I'd be ashamed to reveal that I grew up in Croydon, too. So it was the perfect time to poison the whisky. I went into the Library pretending to check that he had enough gin - wearing elegant evening gloves, of course. If only it had worked - I wouldn't have shed a tear. I'm far more upset about that T'ang Dynasty vase. I know you broke it on purpose!
Irma Hyphon-Smart: Actually, Lady Cyn, I broke the vase. I was trying to shoot Sir Alfred through the open window. I ran round as soon as he went into the Library, but by the time I got to the window, Sid was in there and I had to wait - didn't want him to see me. I'd tried to jigger the dictation machine to electrocute the evil swine, but I couldn't figure out the instructions. I thought shooting Sir Alfred would be simpler, but it wasn't as easy as the book said it would be, and I missed his head. He was my Initiation Rite, but I passed anyway because I did fire the gun and he was killed. Death to all capitalist pigs! Oh, and I also phoned Papa Razzo and told him Mega, Inc was in trouble. I made it all up, but in my job you get to know which members of the press will print anything you tell them - and if I helped to undermine a vile capitalist enterprise like Megalomania, Inc, then I'm proud to stand up and be counted!
Sid Sneer: So - it was you who passed the accounts to Bob Zhairunkel, then?
Irma Hyphon-Smart: Certainly not! Why should I wish to aid that fascist lackey of the imperialist system? Anyway, I didn't have access to the accounts. The last thing PR people need to know is the truth.
Sid Sneer: So it must have been Maurice, after all! I always thought it was you.
Maurice Bindweed: All right! All right! I admit it! I needed the money. Sir Alfred underpaid everybody, and you've no idea how expensive it is to maintain my collection of railway timetables. Air conditioning, the right lighting, maintaining the proper humidity in the atmosphere... not to mention the items that come up for sale. But as soon as Bob Zhairunkel sends the money through, I shall be able to retire at last. And you can replace me with a computer.
Magnolia Luscious: Not forgetting that you are going to be sharing that money! Yes, it's true, I was collaborating with Maurice. Not that he was much of a co-conspirator. I got the disk back from Bob and was trying to smuggle it back into Mega, Inc without anyone noticing by giving it to Maurice in a box of chocolates. Alfred saw the box, but decided it was for him - a free sample! as if! - and took it to the Library as soon as I arrived. I told Maurice to try to get it back, but he wimped out. Useless little trainspotter.
Maurice Bindweed: It wasn't my fault! Anyway, who got you the disk in the first place?
Magnolia Luscious: Do be quiet, Maurice. Nobody cares.
Julio 'Papa' Razzo: But what made you choose Maurice in the first place?
Magnolia Luscious: I thought being Sir Alfred's mistress would set me up for life. I wanted you to have that Mercedes I promised you! But all he gave me was a few thousand miserable Mega, Inc shares. Rotten skinflint. I can't live on the income from my Laphroaig truffles! But Maurice has such a sweet tooth, he was always popping in to buy an ounce or two - he couldn't afford more than that - which was why we got together to sell the secrets to Bob Zhairunkel. Maurice was the one who attended the late-night meeting, while I was celebrating my adored Julio's birthday. And now I find you were betraying me - with Horatio!
Julio 'Papa' Razzo: Darling, you know you're the only woman in my life.
Horatio Goode: But, I say, hang on a minute. If Maurice and Magnolia haven't been paid for handin' over the industrial secrets, then where did jolly old Maurice get the dosh to purchase the whatchamacallit, the Karona-Toggle Collection?
Maurice Bindweed: Hah! Hah, hahahhaaha! I knew you'd pay! I knew you'd pay anything, rather than lose the honour of your named Cloakroom Peg at the Drones Club!
Horatio Goode: No! No, please!
Maurice Bindweed: I found out ages ago that you cheated at Tiddlywinks when you were up at Cambridge. The Drones Club would never have accepted you if they'd known. They'd never have named a Cloakroom Peg after you! I knew you'd pay to keep your reputation, so when the Karona-Toggle Collection came up for sale, I wrote to you and told you to sell your Mega, Inc shares and give me the money.
Horatio Goode: Noooo! But I thought - I thought it was Sir Alfred who was blackmailing me! The letter was on the Chairman's personal headed notepaper. I thought he was going to tell everyone, and I'd lose my Cloakroom Peg - and that's why I strangled him!
* * *
So now you know.
Any questions?
And, as a thank-you for playing, for anyone who had a go along the way:
every1sangel deserves a prize for a jolly good effort, so:It's not a box of Laphroaig truffles, but it will have to do.
And now, the solution. Here follows the transcript of a tape obtained from the Boardroom at Megalomania, Inc. There will be revelations! Wild emotions! Far, far too many exclamation marks!
Sid Sneer: Right. Now I'm in charge here, and I want to know what's been going on. Because I think that poison in the whisky glass was never intended for my late unlamented father. I think someone was trying to murder me, and I think it was - you!
Lady Cynthia: It's true! And what a pity it didn't work out. You nasty little oik. You were so proud to boast to everyone about how you came up from the gutter and made your way to the top of the company all by yourself. Hah! When Sir Alfred said he was going to tell the truth, you thought he meant he'd tell everyone you were his son - that you grew up in a 1930s semi in Floral Crescent, Croydon! I admit, I'd be ashamed to reveal that I grew up in Croydon, too. So it was the perfect time to poison the whisky. I went into the Library pretending to check that he had enough gin - wearing elegant evening gloves, of course. If only it had worked - I wouldn't have shed a tear. I'm far more upset about that T'ang Dynasty vase. I know you broke it on purpose!
Irma Hyphon-Smart: Actually, Lady Cyn, I broke the vase. I was trying to shoot Sir Alfred through the open window. I ran round as soon as he went into the Library, but by the time I got to the window, Sid was in there and I had to wait - didn't want him to see me. I'd tried to jigger the dictation machine to electrocute the evil swine, but I couldn't figure out the instructions. I thought shooting Sir Alfred would be simpler, but it wasn't as easy as the book said it would be, and I missed his head. He was my Initiation Rite, but I passed anyway because I did fire the gun and he was killed. Death to all capitalist pigs! Oh, and I also phoned Papa Razzo and told him Mega, Inc was in trouble. I made it all up, but in my job you get to know which members of the press will print anything you tell them - and if I helped to undermine a vile capitalist enterprise like Megalomania, Inc, then I'm proud to stand up and be counted!
Sid Sneer: So - it was you who passed the accounts to Bob Zhairunkel, then?
Irma Hyphon-Smart: Certainly not! Why should I wish to aid that fascist lackey of the imperialist system? Anyway, I didn't have access to the accounts. The last thing PR people need to know is the truth.
Sid Sneer: So it must have been Maurice, after all! I always thought it was you.
Maurice Bindweed: All right! All right! I admit it! I needed the money. Sir Alfred underpaid everybody, and you've no idea how expensive it is to maintain my collection of railway timetables. Air conditioning, the right lighting, maintaining the proper humidity in the atmosphere... not to mention the items that come up for sale. But as soon as Bob Zhairunkel sends the money through, I shall be able to retire at last. And you can replace me with a computer.
Magnolia Luscious: Not forgetting that you are going to be sharing that money! Yes, it's true, I was collaborating with Maurice. Not that he was much of a co-conspirator. I got the disk back from Bob and was trying to smuggle it back into Mega, Inc without anyone noticing by giving it to Maurice in a box of chocolates. Alfred saw the box, but decided it was for him - a free sample! as if! - and took it to the Library as soon as I arrived. I told Maurice to try to get it back, but he wimped out. Useless little trainspotter.
Maurice Bindweed: It wasn't my fault! Anyway, who got you the disk in the first place?
Magnolia Luscious: Do be quiet, Maurice. Nobody cares.
Julio 'Papa' Razzo: But what made you choose Maurice in the first place?
Magnolia Luscious: I thought being Sir Alfred's mistress would set me up for life. I wanted you to have that Mercedes I promised you! But all he gave me was a few thousand miserable Mega, Inc shares. Rotten skinflint. I can't live on the income from my Laphroaig truffles! But Maurice has such a sweet tooth, he was always popping in to buy an ounce or two - he couldn't afford more than that - which was why we got together to sell the secrets to Bob Zhairunkel. Maurice was the one who attended the late-night meeting, while I was celebrating my adored Julio's birthday. And now I find you were betraying me - with Horatio!
Julio 'Papa' Razzo: Darling, you know you're the only woman in my life.
Horatio Goode: But, I say, hang on a minute. If Maurice and Magnolia haven't been paid for handin' over the industrial secrets, then where did jolly old Maurice get the dosh to purchase the whatchamacallit, the Karona-Toggle Collection?
Maurice Bindweed: Hah! Hah, hahahhaaha! I knew you'd pay! I knew you'd pay anything, rather than lose the honour of your named Cloakroom Peg at the Drones Club!
Horatio Goode: No! No, please!
Maurice Bindweed: I found out ages ago that you cheated at Tiddlywinks when you were up at Cambridge. The Drones Club would never have accepted you if they'd known. They'd never have named a Cloakroom Peg after you! I knew you'd pay to keep your reputation, so when the Karona-Toggle Collection came up for sale, I wrote to you and told you to sell your Mega, Inc shares and give me the money.
Horatio Goode: Noooo! But I thought - I thought it was Sir Alfred who was blackmailing me! The letter was on the Chairman's personal headed notepaper. I thought he was going to tell everyone, and I'd lose my Cloakroom Peg - and that's why I strangled him!
* * *
So now you know.
Any questions?
And, as a thank-you for playing, for anyone who had a go along the way:
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 04:45 pm (UTC)yay! for enlivening my friendspage
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 11:03 pm (UTC)This was great fun! Thank you so much.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-20 01:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-20 04:05 pm (UTC)I've been an avid reader of crime novels my whole life though, and while I like Dorothy L. Sayers best, when I'm down or depressed there is almost nothing better to take my mind off things than an Agatha Christie that I've read many times before. I also have a fondness for Rex Stout's books about Nero Wolfe, but that's mostly because of Archie Goodwin :-)
no subject
Date: 2006-01-20 04:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-20 02:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-20 04:30 pm (UTC)