Perfection achieved.

[pensnest]

Last night my father-in-law came through to us almost in tears, and explained that he had just watched the most beautiful, moving, perfect ballet he had ever seen in his life, it could not be bettered.

Which is lovely.

Except that he said exactly - almost word-for-word - the same thing six times over the preceding nine days, about six different ballets. (He has a reasonable collection of the classics, between DVDs and performances which have been captured for him on his telly.)

It must, I suppose, be one of the few redeeming factors when a person's memory is going, to be able to enjoy the most perfect thing he's ever seen in his life, over and over again. I know for a fact that he has watched those ballets before, all but (perhaps) the one he received for Christmas, but he has forgotten them. Still, it is hard to react with enthusiasm at this point! I tell him I'm pleased he enjoyed it and am glad it was so good, but he's obviously expecting a more excited response. I suspect he may even expect us to ask to watch this perfect ballet ourselves, but neither of us is interested in ballet.

Things could be a lot worse. But it is so sad to witness.

Comments

[smallhobbit]

That is really sad. At least if he's not aware of it he must be happy in his way, which is a plus. Has he seen Matthew Bourne's The Red Shoes on iplayer? (I think you're in the UK).

[pensnest]

He does get a lot of pleasure from the ballets, which is good to see. I'm pretty sure he has not seen The Red Shoes, I will see if we can find it for him - thanks for the suggestion!

[kingstoken]

This is so bittersweet, it is nice he is still able to find joy, but dementia is a hell of a disease, and takes so much from the individual and their families

[pensnest]

He's not too bad at present, I guess, as he still knows us and has a reasonable fund of memories from many years ago. But conversation is very disjointed, as his head grabs the first related idea he gets from whatever was last said, and it's usually remote. I am very much confirmed in my feeling that I don't want to be Old.

[kingstoken]

Not everyone who gets old has memory probelme or gets dementia, my grandmother lived to 95, and was pretty sharp until a couple years before the end, and even then she would just get confused on occasion, but she always knew who we were and what was going on, in fact she lived independently until about 8 weeks before her death.

[pensnest]

True - and it can be wonderful to know someone who is still with-it and has so much to talk about. My grandma did pretty well, too. I think she was in more pain than she wanted to let on, but mentally she was fine.

[author_by_night]

I'm sorry. It is sad.

[pensnest]

It is. Thank you.

[shipperslist]

There are times when father no longer remembers my mother, his wife of over 50 years. 😔 It’s heartbreaking.

[pensnest]

That is absolutely heartbreaking. My FIL is not there, thank goodness. I don't know what we will do if he gets to that point. I wish you fortitude.

[turps]

That is sad, and has to be hard to deal with ♥

[pensnest]

I know that it could be so very much worse, really we have it easy with FIL. I think it probably doesn't help that he and I are opposites in so many ways, so the ways in which I would like to help aren't what he wants.

[brandywine28]

I'm sorry about the toll it's taking on you. Yet I kind of love that he's so passionate and excited about something. I guess you're right, it really could be a lot worse. (But STILL.)

[pensnest]

I think he gets more emotional about his ballets than about anything else, and it's nice to see because he's been a thoroughly repressed old-fashioned Englishman for so long. But it's hard to react with the level of pleasure he probably expects! Well, I can act, and should.

[ephemera]

That is so hard *hand squeezes*

[pensnest]

Thanks. <3

[frausorge]

That's tough. I hope there may be some middle ground that can let him be happy without needing you to perform too much.