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May. 1st, 2021 11:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pensnestFIL died yesterday evening.
I felt weirdly numb yesterday night, and I had expected to feel relieved. Unburdened, even.
I think it must be the overload of intense emotions over the last, very difficult, month. There has been anger (a lot of it, along the lines of "we wouldn't put a dog through this"), dismay, and the incredible tension of not knowing what was going to happen—was he going to die? was he going to get better? how much better? how long would it all take? and, would we be able to deal with it? Physical revulsion, quite often, but most of all, heart-wrenching pity.
I'm more balanced this morning, and have already cleared out three cupboards of very well-travelled empty ice-cream cartons. I'm not kidding. The gigantic four-litre cartons are from Woolworths, so they only travelled from Australia. But I am sure that some of those smaller plastic boxes have actually been from Bexhill-on-Sea to Tasmania and back. Now, they are going into the recycling at long last.
The people from the funeral home have just collected the body. All beautifully organised and done with finesse.
I felt weirdly numb yesterday night, and I had expected to feel relieved. Unburdened, even.
I think it must be the overload of intense emotions over the last, very difficult, month. There has been anger (a lot of it, along the lines of "we wouldn't put a dog through this"), dismay, and the incredible tension of not knowing what was going to happen—was he going to die? was he going to get better? how much better? how long would it all take? and, would we be able to deal with it? Physical revulsion, quite often, but most of all, heart-wrenching pity.
I'm more balanced this morning, and have already cleared out three cupboards of very well-travelled empty ice-cream cartons. I'm not kidding. The gigantic four-litre cartons are from Woolworths, so they only travelled from Australia. But I am sure that some of those smaller plastic boxes have actually been from Bexhill-on-Sea to Tasmania and back. Now, they are going into the recycling at long last.
The people from the funeral home have just collected the body. All beautifully organised and done with finesse.