don't want your broken parts

[pensnest]

There's a rather interesting post up on AmITheAsshole, here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/o2r5ol/wibta_if_i_burned_the_quilt_my_grandma_made_me/
It includes a picture of the quilt in question.

Now, I shudder in horror at the thought of burning something lovingly handmade, and it should not be done. But.... not sure I'd actually want that quilt. What do you think?

Comments

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

I wouldn't burn it but I wouldn't keep it either. Donate or dump-- unless grandma is the kind who will come to visit and expect to see it.

My sister crocheted an afgan I hate for my son's birth. Just a matter of taste, not offensive. I keep it but I wish I could get rid of it.

Marie Kondo--no joy!

[pensnest]

It's really difficult to be given a lovingly hand-made item you don't like!

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

YES! UGH! So I am a minimalist by nature. So that's pulling me in one direction. And my sister is my only living relative that I'm still speaking to [the rest are American Republicans] and so that's pulling me in the other. I really hate that afghan :/ it's green and purple and orange.

[pensnest]

Oh, dear! Could you have an Unfortunate Spillage Event that requires you to dye it black?

I saw a shawl knitted in green/purple/cream by an expert knitter who did not have an eye for colour. It didn't work, because the green and purple just looked muddy together. It would *not* have been saved by orange!

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

You know, that's a wonderful idea. I will tuck that away for the future. I wouldn't mind it if it were black or dark brown. That might save the day.

It looks like the colours for an unfortunate football team, even more unfortunate because I don't follow any sports.

[kingstoken]

Wow, that AmITheAsshole was something, I can see why the poster is worried about it looking like swastikas, but why in god's name is their first reaction to burn it! Why isn't their first reaction maybe to talk with their grandmother about why she choose that pattern, or maybe find out if there is some way modify it so it doesn't look as much like swastikas, like why is their first reaction to burn something that it probably took their elderly grandmother months to make?

[pensnest]

Yes, the idea of burning it struck me as an odd reaction, but it might be that the poster lives in/comes from a culture that feels *very* strongly about swastikas, and it might feel like the right response? I dunno. I agree, I think talking to grandmother would be a better plan.

[topaz119]

Who knew accidental swastikas were a thing in quilting (which I learned from the comments)? I know burning seems like an over-reaction, but that does seem a little cursed. Like, I don't know if I'd even want it in the back of a closet somewhere. What if you had an unfortunate accident and got hit by a bus or something and someone had to clean out your house? Your reputation would be in tatters (on top of you being dead.)

Okay, this comment has gone completely off the rails, but yeah, wow, I don't know what that top comment on the reddit thread was seeing, but I clicked that picture and recoiled. Clearly, my eye is not refined enough.

[pensnest]

Yeah - I can see how the shape would crop up in quilting, but surely most people would notice? It's a bit baffling. I don't know if I'd want such a thing, either. I mean, a gorgeous hand-made quilt would normally deserve to be hung up on a wall or used in the best guest room, but... well...

[sporky_rat]

That's a really common pattern, my mother has made a couple of them in bright greens and blues and oranges and white.

It can, at first glance, look problematic. If not done in the more common Nazi colors, it is really pretty.

[pensnest]

It seems from the comments to that post that people who quilt see a quilting pattern, and people who don't can't really pull their mind's eye away from the swastika. I mean, I can see how it's a fun pattern, but I think it needed some adjustment!

[fleurrochard]

Oh dear.
I get the urge. But then I'm German, and swastikas are forbidden here, so I could get into legal problems if I DIDN'T destroy it (or alter it to make it into something else, that's ofcourse an option).

[pensnest]

Ah, see, I was wondering if this might be an explanation for the poster going straight to 'should I burn it?' when that seems like the wrong thing to do.

[word_geek]

The weird part is that Grandma could have easily broken up the swastika-ness of it if she'd laid out her blocks before she started to sew them together. Personally, I'd ask her to de-swastika it, just so she started checking her patterns for accidental Nazi ness in future. Or I would dye it in a freak 'accident', or it would go in a closet, never to be seen again.

But I don't think I could burn a handmade quilt.

H

[pensnest]

I don't think I could burn a handmade quilt, either. But it does seem a shame Grandma didn't take a step back and look at the design through, as it were, nonquilter eyes.

[tielan]

Quilter here. The pattern isn't a swastika, but I understand why people might think it was, and I sympathise with the desire not to have this quilt exist or keep it around.

That said, the question of what OP should do with it is dependent on a whole raft of nuances, none of which are mentioned in the letter. Her relationship with her grandmother, her grandmother's thoughts on the quilt and the pattern she chose, and whether her grandmother sees the swastika at all.

Frankly, if I knew the OP, I would offer to take the quilt and basically cut it up and sew it back together so the swastika was no longer evident. A 'quilt remix' of sorts. That way, she can keep the quilt but without the swastika.

[pensnest]

I like the idea of a quilt remix! I mean, to my eyes it absolutely looks like a swastika, only with a fatter middle because of the way the blocks are arranged. But I'm not a quilter—in the comments on AITA, the quilters agree with you that it's not a swastika, but a common quilting block pattern. (I'm coming from the 'I make handmade things but not quilts' pov.) Remix that quilt!

[antisoppist]

I'd appreciate the work that went into it but I wouldn't put it on my bed. I quilt and if it was me, I'd maybe applique a different colour over some of the pieces so it looks less like swastikas but it would be a lot of work and would be annoying so I probably wouldn't get round to doing it. I'd hate to put it in a charity shop though in case someone who really loved swastika decor bought it.

[pensnest]

It would be hard to take pleasure in something that was such a strong reminder of such evil, but I sympathise with not wanting to go to all the trouble of making changes! I can't help wondering what a charity shop would do with it...

[raynedanser]

It's a very typical quilt pattern (the arranging of the blocks). That said, it's a very unfortunate choice in prints that makes them stand out this way. It's not intended to be a swastika and if I'd seen it without the post, would not have thought anything of it. Course, my mom quilts. So.

[pensnest]

That seems to be the thing - people who look at it from the quilter POV see a common quilt pattern... Most unfortunate, really! I hope the poster managed to talk to her grandmother about it.

[watervole]

I think it's a lovely quilt. The swastika was originally, and still is a symbol of good luck and prosperity in Hindu, Buddhist and Jain countries. It is also commonly used in Hindu marriage ceremonies.

I would simply focus on that aspect and keep it. Especially as there are no reds or blacks in the quilt.

[brandywine28]

I don't think I could burn it, either!

I mean...is it reversible? What does the back look like?

[pensnest]

Burning a handmade offering would clearly be Very Wrong. And yet. I suppose one could use it upside down, though I suspect the reverse is probably just a plain colour. I wonder if anyone in comments at AITA suggested that? (Haven't had the stamina to read all the replies!)

[turlough]

I didn't even see the swatikas as first but after moving my eyes over the pattern a couple of times it was suddenly all I could see. Very much like one of those trick paintings. I think if it was mine I would do what tielan suggested and unpick and reassamble it. The base components are all squares made up of three rectangles so it would be very easy to make it look completely different. (No, I don't make patchworks myself but it's mum's major hobby so I hear about it a lot :-)

[pensnest]

I suspect it would be a *lot* of work... a lot would depend on the grandmother's personality - if she's a person who would shriek in horror and insist on reworking the quilt once it had been pointed out to her that there's a reference on it she wouldn't care for, or a person who'd be all insulted at not having her hard work appreciated, or a person who is Never Wrong.

I'm not neat enough to patchwork. Knitting is more forgiving!

[semielliptical]

It might not technically be a swastika but it looks enough like one that I wouldn't want the quilt. It would have to significantly remade, as some others suggested, for me to be ok with having it in my house. The grandmother's original intention is not as important as the outcome, which is a design that it going to make many people think of swastikas and Nazis.

[pensnest]

That's it! No matter how lovingly made, the outcome would make me, and might well make my friends, very uncomfortable. Such a pity, because the colours go very well together and Grandma obviously has the skills.

[watervole]

Ah, my thought is "How many people go into my bedroom?" So my friends would never see it anyway!

[pensnest]

Well, that's possibly true (although I would invite guests to shower in the ensuite and they'd have to walk through...) but I'd see it and twitch.

[frausorge]

I'm with the "remix" contingent - I could not countenance such a quilt in its current form, but it seems like there could be middle ground to try to fix it before jumping to total destruction. Assuming the grandmother did that unintentionally, anyway! It seems like if you covered up the central white rectangle in between the darker stripes in each block, with a color or pattern that was closer to the dark ones instead of matching the background frame color around them, it would be ok.

But also, talking to the grandmother and sussing out her intention would be important too.

[pensnest]

I think I would go with the remix too - it would be such a shame to waste all that work, and the love that (presumably) went into it. But yes, talking to grandmother would be important. Perhaps she'd want to do the 'remixing' herself.

[turps]

Oh wow, that is unfortunate.

I was reading the update saying the grandma had no idea, so knowing that I'm even more firmly in the remix the quilt camp. Not that I'd have any idea how to do that, so if it was my gift it would have probably ended up hidden in the back of a wardrobe.

[pensnest]

Quilting, being a craft that requires actual precision and planning, is Not My Thing. I don't know what I'd have done with a gift like this, but it does seem to me that the Remix option is the best one! I mean, the colours are lovely, the work is terrific....

[ephemera]

Wow - yes. That is ... quite a thing. Definitely not going to be on display as it stands (Maybe dyed and otherwise embellished/altered, but I'm not sure that once seen it could be unseen), but - I'm not sure that cleansing fire would be my first choice of action unless there's more to the story than was shared!

[pensnest]

Quite - the crafter in me recoils at the very idea of burning it, but, well. Such a pity Grandma didn't at any stage *look* at the thing she was making! I'm on Team Remix for this one.