at least that's what I could read

[pensnest]

A bunch of Christmas cards arrived after lunch today, including one from oldtoadwoman and one from rikes - thank you!

*

And my sister phoned, to tell me that our sometime stepbrother apparently died at the beginning of the year (she got the news in a Christmas letter, but the person who sent it for some reason didn't send me the usual epistle this time).

I'm not emotional about it, we haven't had a relationship for thirty-five years, but as he was just a few months younger than me it was an unwelcome reminder of the passing of time. Irritatingly, he had the same name as somebody famous, also deceased, so searching for an obituary is a very frustrating process. An image search brings up , among others, Kelsey Grammer and HM Elizabeth II. Okay, then.

I found a plausible photograph eventually. In an article about a sex offender.... which, well. Um.

Comments

[author_by_night]

A Christmas letter is a jarring way to find out, too. Did the person think your sister already knew? In any case, it's always a shame. I understand what you mean about the passing of time.

[pensnest]

I don't think I'd received a Christmas card from my ex-stepbrother for years (haven't sent him any, either). Last communication was when he sent me a bouquet when my father died, in 2008. So I guess neither I nor my sister was on anyone's radar for letting us know at the time he died. And I suppose a Christmas letter is a round-up of the year....

[yarnofariadne]

Oof. That's rough all around.

[pensnest]

It's all a bit hard to get my head around!

[minoanmiss]

I am sorry. Being estranged adds its own level of weirdness, as does finding out like this.

[pensnest]

Thank you. Not so much estranged as just... not interested in one another, I think. It's simultaneously distant and close, which adds to the weirdness!

[turps]

That's a rough way to find out about a death.

Obviously, you don't have to say, but is that the branch of the family that lived near me?

[pensnest]

Funnily enough, he did live somewhere in the Wild North, but not the family you're thinking of, who were the family of my dad's third wife (a much better person than his second).

[turlough]

That's really not something you want to find out in a Christmas letter! And yeah, not a very welcome reminder of how time passes, I can imagine.

[pensnest]

I dunno... given that we hadn't taken any notice of one another since 2008 (he - or possibly, his wife - sent me a bouquet when my father died), I guess the annual news round-up is as good a place as any. I'm slightly puzzled that I didn't get the letter myself!

[ephemera]

That has to be a really discomforting thing to find out via circular letter (I wonder if your copy is caught up in the postal strikes somewhere)

[brandywine28]

Oh, wow, I'm sorry. Not just for the loss, but also for the inconvenient feelings it's inspiring. Mortality: who needs it?

I guess there's no *good* way to find out about the passing of a(n extremely tangential?) family member -- but even if there *was* a good way, this definitely wasn't it.