one's a tiger, one's a lynx

[pensnest]

Well, I found out something new today. Apparently a 'switch' is a person who can dom or sub, and if you want to say 'person who can top or bottom' the word is 'vers'. Short for versatile.

I had literally never heard of this before today. I'm told it comes from gay dating spaces, which would kinda make sense as slash has a whole lot less to do with actual gay men than one might think.

Any comments?

Comments

[dine]

I knew of 'switch' but have never run across 'vers'

[shipperslist]

I’m familiar with both, thanks to some deep dives into BDSM fics I’ve read.

But I recently learned what a side is. Apparently it’s a pretty new term that means a (gay) person who isn’t into anal/penetration. Not a top nor a bottom but a side.

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

I have seen both. I think I have been using switch for both definitions so good to know! I like precision. And I like commentor's remark above about 'side' I have long suspected (perhaps erroneously) that anal is a lot more prevalent in fic than in life. I open to correction on that but I think there ought to be a word....🤣🤣

[pensnest]

Same here. Eighteen years in a slashy world... it's odd!

[pensnest]

'Side' is a useful term. I suspect slashers tend to be more interested in sex that involved penetration than actual gay men necessarily are. I wonder if lesbian slash-writers do likewise? Hmm.

[pensnest]

I don't write BDSM, as I don't know how, so I've just been using 'switch' to mean 'versatile', I guess. But until yesterday I don't think I'd ever heard the term!

'Side' makes a lot of sense to me, too - see my reply to shipperslist.

[shipperslist]

I have no clue. From what little I've seen/heard/red around the term, some gays are incredibly relieved there is a name for them, some just can't understand it because who doesn't want to fuck "properly"? It sort of reminds me of the asexual discourse from years ago (aka is it real or not).

[watervole]

I've come across 'switch' before. but I suspect you're correct about slash not being that close to reality!

[pensnest]

Yes - I would never classify slash as 'gay romance' although it's sorta what it is, but just coming from such a different perspective.

forgive the intrusion

[neold]

stumbled across this and wanted to chime in as a vers switch myself:

yes, vers and switch are different concepts, and they're both quite well-established terms at this point. i'm not certain as to the origins of switch, but i think it's older; i know vers only cropped up around ~2005 or so, and didn't become widespread until a few years later.

i've found that a lot of folk new to or on the edge of kinky queer communities conflate "top" with "dom", and "bottom" with "sub". this is getting less common, but still crops up often enough that i find i have to stop mid-discussion for a little education on that. despite stereotypes, not all doms are tops; and not all bottoms are subs! fascinatingly, in my experience, there is rarely the immediate assumption that all tops are doms, but i think that's because it is not assumed that all tops are kinky. for some reason, bottoms do warrant that assumption, especially if they present femme.

>if you want to say 'person who can top or bottom' the word is 'vers'.

you probably didn't mean anything by it, but this specific usage of "can" made me think of the queer meme that identifying yourself as vers is the same as saying "in an emergency, i can top" (a meme which is a can o'worms of its own i shall not go into).

as the focus of this post is slash fiction, and i am a reader of such and would like to see writers improve in this area, i also feel i might as well explain that top, bottom, sub, dom, vers, and switch should be broadly treated as orientations rather than preferences; albeit orientations that can be (but aren't always) flexible.

most seem to find it intuitive that a dom is not comfortable subbing and that a top is not comfortable bottoming (and vice versa); but it's important to understand that not all verses and switches are simply comfortable with either option at any time. some are that flexible, but some will find that they have top moods and bottom moods (or sub moods and dom moods), and at least for that time cannot enjoy the other.

and while yes, there are bottom-leaning verses, sub-leaning switches and so forth, who broadly prefer one particular role but sometimes need to engage in the other, there are also those who do not lean distinctly one way or the other; and there are those who specifically enjoy switching roles or taking turns mid-scene (though probably not mid-act).

also, i've come across side a few times and while it is a newer term it's a much-needed one. there have been queer men utterly disinterested in (and sometimes repulsed by) anal for as long as there have been men.

(forgive the new account: i read dw blogs regularly, and today finally decided i should make my own.)