My new hair is so comfortable, I forget I have it on

[pensnest]

Do we ever talk about women who are losing our hair?



We don't very often talk about periodic or menopausal inconveniences, but the topics are not totally taboo any more and I have been most grateful for discussions of these things. But do we talk about going bald? Not chemotherapy bald, just... losing our hair? I don't think we do, really.

Well, maybe we should.

I have encroaching male pattern baldness. My forehead is a lot higher than it used to be, and the hair on top is woefully thin, although there is still plenty around the back and sides. I don't like it. I feel conspicuous. I know I can see scalp below the frizzy, forward-combed lack of mass, and I know other people can see it too. Meh.

Anyone who shares the problem, do let's talk about it. How do you cope? Hairbands and scarves? Never leave home without a hat? Turban and a selection of purple and magenta wigs*? Ignoring the whole deal?

I have a collection of wigs, varying in quality and colour but aiming to look natural. But wearing a full wig can be a hot and sweaty business, and I'm into the hot flashes time of life (oh, joy**) and it is summer and sticky outside, so, no. Also, there is no way I'm going to do Zumba in a wig! I call them 'dress hair', and have been known on occasion to wear one when going out for a party or dinner. But not every day.

However, about a year ago I bought myself a hairpiece. Luckily for me I seem to have standard 'English mouse' hair, and an off-the-shelf piece matched my own hair perfectly. I look ten years younger with it on. It wasn't cheap, but was intended as a practise run to see whether I would in fact wear a hairpiece if I owned one. Well, I did. So I had myself measured up for a custom piece, and after an interminable time—seriously, a good six months, possibly more, which strikes me as frankly not very good service—I received it. The hair is less thickly applied than the off-the-shelf piece, which feels more like me, as I never did have *thick* hair, and I'm not totally happy with the way it's cut, but nonetheless, it is supremely comfortable, matches my natural colour, and I am far less self-conscious in it than without it. I've actually got ready for bed three times already before realising I still had my hair on.

As for the gym, I have established a firm habit of wearing a broad hairband, which does double duty as concealer and sweat-absorber. And I put my hairpiece on right there in the changing room after I've showered and dried myself. I figure there is no sense pretending I don't wear one, have acknowledged it if people ask, and have even shared useful information with an old acquaintance I met lately who complimented me and expressed a wish her own hair wasn't so thin...

So, there's me, going bald and not liking it.

Anyone else?


* Note to self: a magenta wig would be AWESOME. Although it probably wouldn't go with my rosacea. Okay, make that purple.
** In fairness, it is a lesser evil than regular periods.

Comments

[frausorge]

I definitely have thin patches and bits of scalp visible on top of my head - a former hairdresser used to yell at me not to part my hair with a comb because she said it was making the hair there fall out faster. I did switch to using a brush, but I haven't come to any decisions about how to cover. I like wearing bandannas, but I feel like they're not appropriate in all situations, especially at work. I do have a bright purple wig that I got for a Halloween costume once, but it's Halloween costume quality, yanno? Also I like the color and texture of my natural hair, what there is of it, so I don't want to cover it entirely.

[pensnest]

It sounds as if you have my kind of problem. I really approve of the hairpiece, in that it covers the top, where 'tis thin, but the back and sides are just for my hair. My hairbands and the occasional scarf are okay, but as you say, not for all situations.

Also, perfect icon!

[turlough]

I have to confess I didn't even know hairloss like this was something that happened to women. If I've seen a woman with very thing hair I think I've always thought that a) they've been ill, or b) they've destroyed their hair with excessive colouring/bleaching/permanent etc.

It's not something I've heard anyone speak of ever. I wonder if it's some kind of taboo subject here in Sweden? Though it might just be because my friends and relatives never have had it happened to them.

In any case, this post was a real eyeopener for me.

[pensnest]

I think it probably is something we don't talk about, most likely because it feels so very unfeminine. Women's hair does get thinner, with age, but for most women, not in the male pattern of receding forehead and balding on top.

I suspect my problem is connected to the polycystic ovaries/diabetes/etc collection of things-that-are-wrong-with-me. But it could just be genetic. I'm very like my father, physically, after all.

[kira-j.livejournal.com]

I subscribe to this lady
on youtube (she's the funniest person on the internet I love her) and she talks openly about hairloss, diys hair masks and reviews extensions.

[pensnest]

Thank you for the link! I shall investigate.

[watervole]

How do you attach the hairpiece? I can't visualise how it would work.

[pensnest]

It's like a little cap, and there are tiny snappable combs round the edge. The off-the-shelf one has... four, I think, and the custome one has seven. I sit the piece in place and angle the tiny combs into my hair, then snap them shut. It's remarkably secure!

[rikes]

I thought your hairpiece was super cute! Not sure if it was the old or new one, but it matched your own hair perfectly and I probably wouldn't have noticed anything if I hadn't seen you before.

[pensnest]

Thank you! The one I had at Camp was the off-the-shelf one, so a bit more hair than really feels natural for me.

[solariana.livejournal.com]

Wearing the headband in the gym sounds quite sensible and practical. If it works there, why not elsewhere?

The only female friend I remember that suffered from thinning hair was a cancer patient who was undergoing chemo at the time. She did try wigs, but also found them to be heavy, hot and uncomfortable. She decided to go with headbands, but used scarves or other pieces of cloth that were decorative and varied in colors, patterns and styles. She would fold them over and tie them on like a band, maybe 3-4 inches wide, rather than wearing them as a full head scarf.

[pensnest]

The headband is okay, but it isn't exactly flattering on me. Sometimes I resort to that, or a scarf, but I think the hairpiece is better.

I *think* that these days, society is a lot better about dealing with chemo patients who're losing their hair. Not that every patient necessarily feels good about it, of course. The practical problems of wearing/not wearing a wig, wearing scarf or headband etc, are the same. I suppose probably the 'unfeminine' feeling is the same...

[solariana.livejournal.com]

I suppose you can follow Joey Fatone's advice. How did I ever forget he was a spokeperson for hair restoration? Although I don't know if you have Bosley in England, there must be something similar. I'm not sure of the cost although I think one of Joey's commercials said they have a program to fit *almost* any budget. I can't imagine it would hurt to look into it.

http://popcomm.livejournal.com/33797.html

[pensnest]

Wow... I always say, we have the *best* canon. I shall have to go and look at this!

[joeysdramaqueen.livejournal.com]

I have mildly thinning hair, but not as severe as it sounds like you have. I have been using Nioxin shampoo and conditioner, and have been taking Biotin supplements for about 2 years now, and it does help. My hair isn't as thick as it was when I was younger, but it's better than it was before I started using those things.

[pensnest]

My doctor prescribed me iron, as it can help a bit in reducing hair loss (apparently), but who knows whether it has worked! I know hair does thin as we age—I remember my Grandma's was fairly sparse, although as she never left the house without a hat on, she already had a means of covering up! But it's at least in part the masculinity of balding in the middle that is so aggravating!

[brandywine28.livejournal.com]

I have nothing of value to add, I just wanted to pop in and say that turbans, if you can pull them off properly, are the absolute height of badass-glam! (Have you ever seen Grey Gardens? You MUST.)

Also, if you're gonna go the colored wig route, you should consider going blue (again: badass :), or at least trying something in the blue-purple family: lavender, indigo, etc. They'll do a better job of counteracting any redness.

[pensnest]

I have a blue wig, somewhere. I remember getting ready for a Rocky Horror Picture Show screening at a convention, years ago, putting on my galactic T-shirt, tights, etc - but when I put on the blue wig I felt like a transvestite, so I took it off again. Very odd!