Interrogating the suspects
Jan. 13th, 2006 03:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pensnestTurned the key in the ignition last night after rehearsal, to be met with absolute silence, not so much as a cough, and a message on the dashboard saying something like, Start disabled, please try again. Hah. Had to get a lift home, then walk back to the sports centre car park this morning. Mild contretemps with recovery service, who told me one thing and did another, the fools. But the car started without the slightest difficulty. Sigh.
I hope I have managed to implant all the necessary clues and hints into the information you have received over the past few days. There was another session of 'interviews', perhaps a little less friendly this time, with the suspects.
Magnolia Luscious
From the evidence of the writing on the back of her business card, it seemed clear that Ms Luscious had been in cahoots with Mega, Inc's rivals. However, when accused of having a meeting with Bob Zhairunkel, Chairman of Acquisitions R Us, at five to midnight on 18th September, Magnolia claimed to have been in bed with Julio 'Papa' Razzo at the time.
Julio 'Papa' Razzo
Confirmed that he had been with Magnolia Luscious on night of 18th September. It was Razzo's birthday.
Razzo expressed the belief that it was Lady Cynthia who murdered Sir Alfred. Not because of her husband's affair with Magnolia, but because he had discovered that she was the infamous Lady Sin who ran The Service Entrance, a brothel to which entrance was gained via the back door of the Groats' London residence. Razzo claimed to have been investigating a story on the patrons of The Service Entrance, though he had been unable to find out exactly who its patrons were. [There followed an unseemly attempt at 'negotiation' by Razzo, who wished to acquire a certain item of evidence, namely, the customer database.]
Lady Cynthia
Reluctantly admitted to being the patroness of The Service Entrance, but stoutly denied that Sir Alfred would have wished to divorce her in consequence. He was pleased that she had her own (highly profitable) business and did not therefore need to spend his money on her designer outfits. Moreover, he considered her List of Patrons a valuable resource. Sir Alfred had, she said, been the sort of man who was willing to make use of information which might embarrass people.
Lady Cynthia pointed out that she knew Sid Sneer to be the legitimate son of Sir Alfred from his first marriage. Sid himself, therefore, had a considerable motive for wanting dear Sir Alfred out of the way, because he inherited Sir Alfred's controlling shares in Megalomania, Inc. Lady Cynthia was left only the residue of the estate after Sid's bequest had been handed on. She had had no desire whatever to hasten that day, so the last thing she would have done was to murder her husband.
Sid Sneer
When accused of adding arsenic to Sir Alfred's personal whisky decanter, pointed out that Sir Alfred never drank whisky - he only had it available because it had been a gift - and stated that the glass poured on the night of the murder had been for Sid himself. Claimed to have been celebrating the reunion with his long-lost father, but to have knocked the whisky over by mistake before he could drink any.
He had received the small note stating "I know the truth about you" on the day of the murder. He claimed not to have considered it important, and that he now had to get back to the office to carry out his duties as Chairman of Megalomania, Inc.
Irma Hyphon-Smart
Was pleased to have her handbag restored to her. Claimed that the Terrorist Guide found in the bag was research for her first freelance work as a photo-journalist. Denied having read as far as Chapter 6, which gives instructions on the lethal rewiring of common household appliances. When questioned about the fingerprints on Sir Alfred's dictation machine, she stated that she had borrowed the machine on several occasions, and suggested that if it was dangerous, perhaps somebody had been trying to kill her? [NB The machine does not appear to have been wired up to electrocute anybody. In fact, after Ms Hyphon-Smart had returned to work, it was discovered that the machine was not working.]
It was suggested that Irma, who made no secret of her desire to stop working for Mega, Inc, might have been willing to sabotage the company by handing over the accounts to rival firm Acquisitions R Us. Irma denied this, pointing out that she had no wish to see Acquisitions R Us become an even more profitable bloodsucking leech of a company than it already was. Besides, as a PR executive she had no access to the Accounts Department, unlike, say, Maurice Bindweed. Indeed, she had been busy denying the speculation from that paragraph in the Daily Sleaze, which, as Mr Bindweed the Accountant would confirm, was quite unfounded.
Maurice Bindweed
Confirmed that Mega, Inc's finances were in a perfectly sound condition and that the nonsense in the Daily Sleaze had been untrue, although he complained that the PR department was not making a very good job of reassuring the investors.
It was pointed out that Mr Bindweed had immediate access to the accounts of Mega, Inc; he was accused of selling the secrets to Acquisitions R Us in order to finance his purchase of the Karona-Toggle Collection. It was suggested that Sir Alfred had discovered this, and when confronted, Mr Bindweed attacked him. Mr Bindweed pointed out that his only possible weapon had been a paperknife, and it was inconceivable that this should have been the murder weapon. He also absolutely denied receiving any money from Acquisitions R Us.
Bindweed stated that Horatio Goode had spent a surprising amount of time in the Mega, Inc building for someone who did not actually work there, and suggested that his easy, charming ways might have led him to seduce any of the flighty young women in the Accounts Dept into handing over company secrets.
Horatio Goode
Pointed out that seducing young women was not really his thing, and that he had no access to the Mega, Inc accounts.
He claimed that the money he had received from sales of his Mega, Inc shares had been donated to the worthy cause of the Drones Club Charity Tiddlywinks Championship. Yes, it was a large sum, but what was money, compared with the social distinction of being a member of the best club in London? One which, moreover, had honoured him with a named Cloakroom Peg. [There followed an extended and extraordinarily dull speech by Mr Goode on the theme of the Good Eggs who had been members of the Drones Club in the past. Our interrogator woke up when Mr Goode mentioned Sir Alfred as an example of a Bad Egg who would never have been invited to join.]
Mr Goode suggested that it would be sensible to discover the identity of the woman who telephoned 'Papa' Razzo on 22nd December with the leaked information about Mega, Inc's alleged difficulties. Goode knew it was a woman because he had been in bed with Razzo when the call came through. It was his (Goode's) birthday.
All sorts of nasty business going on, wasn't there? No doubt many interesting speculations will spring into your mind as you ponder the evidence. So - speculate! How was Sir Alfred killed? Why was he killed? And most importantly, Who Dunnit?
There have already been quite useful suggestions, so I hope those of you still reading this will offer one another your thoughts in the comments to this post. It's always possible that I might drop in a mite of further evidence, if things seem to be going wildly off track - or if something essential appears to have been forgotten!
I'll probably invite you to post your conclusions on Sunday. The Terrible Truth - and, possibly, banners for the winning detectives - will be along early next week.
I hope I have managed to implant all the necessary clues and hints into the information you have received over the past few days. There was another session of 'interviews', perhaps a little less friendly this time, with the suspects.
Magnolia Luscious
From the evidence of the writing on the back of her business card, it seemed clear that Ms Luscious had been in cahoots with Mega, Inc's rivals. However, when accused of having a meeting with Bob Zhairunkel, Chairman of Acquisitions R Us, at five to midnight on 18th September, Magnolia claimed to have been in bed with Julio 'Papa' Razzo at the time.
Julio 'Papa' Razzo
Confirmed that he had been with Magnolia Luscious on night of 18th September. It was Razzo's birthday.
Razzo expressed the belief that it was Lady Cynthia who murdered Sir Alfred. Not because of her husband's affair with Magnolia, but because he had discovered that she was the infamous Lady Sin who ran The Service Entrance, a brothel to which entrance was gained via the back door of the Groats' London residence. Razzo claimed to have been investigating a story on the patrons of The Service Entrance, though he had been unable to find out exactly who its patrons were. [There followed an unseemly attempt at 'negotiation' by Razzo, who wished to acquire a certain item of evidence, namely, the customer database.]
Lady Cynthia
Reluctantly admitted to being the patroness of The Service Entrance, but stoutly denied that Sir Alfred would have wished to divorce her in consequence. He was pleased that she had her own (highly profitable) business and did not therefore need to spend his money on her designer outfits. Moreover, he considered her List of Patrons a valuable resource. Sir Alfred had, she said, been the sort of man who was willing to make use of information which might embarrass people.
Lady Cynthia pointed out that she knew Sid Sneer to be the legitimate son of Sir Alfred from his first marriage. Sid himself, therefore, had a considerable motive for wanting dear Sir Alfred out of the way, because he inherited Sir Alfred's controlling shares in Megalomania, Inc. Lady Cynthia was left only the residue of the estate after Sid's bequest had been handed on. She had had no desire whatever to hasten that day, so the last thing she would have done was to murder her husband.
Sid Sneer
When accused of adding arsenic to Sir Alfred's personal whisky decanter, pointed out that Sir Alfred never drank whisky - he only had it available because it had been a gift - and stated that the glass poured on the night of the murder had been for Sid himself. Claimed to have been celebrating the reunion with his long-lost father, but to have knocked the whisky over by mistake before he could drink any.
He had received the small note stating "I know the truth about you" on the day of the murder. He claimed not to have considered it important, and that he now had to get back to the office to carry out his duties as Chairman of Megalomania, Inc.
Irma Hyphon-Smart
Was pleased to have her handbag restored to her. Claimed that the Terrorist Guide found in the bag was research for her first freelance work as a photo-journalist. Denied having read as far as Chapter 6, which gives instructions on the lethal rewiring of common household appliances. When questioned about the fingerprints on Sir Alfred's dictation machine, she stated that she had borrowed the machine on several occasions, and suggested that if it was dangerous, perhaps somebody had been trying to kill her? [NB The machine does not appear to have been wired up to electrocute anybody. In fact, after Ms Hyphon-Smart had returned to work, it was discovered that the machine was not working.]
It was suggested that Irma, who made no secret of her desire to stop working for Mega, Inc, might have been willing to sabotage the company by handing over the accounts to rival firm Acquisitions R Us. Irma denied this, pointing out that she had no wish to see Acquisitions R Us become an even more profitable bloodsucking leech of a company than it already was. Besides, as a PR executive she had no access to the Accounts Department, unlike, say, Maurice Bindweed. Indeed, she had been busy denying the speculation from that paragraph in the Daily Sleaze, which, as Mr Bindweed the Accountant would confirm, was quite unfounded.
Maurice Bindweed
Confirmed that Mega, Inc's finances were in a perfectly sound condition and that the nonsense in the Daily Sleaze had been untrue, although he complained that the PR department was not making a very good job of reassuring the investors.
It was pointed out that Mr Bindweed had immediate access to the accounts of Mega, Inc; he was accused of selling the secrets to Acquisitions R Us in order to finance his purchase of the Karona-Toggle Collection. It was suggested that Sir Alfred had discovered this, and when confronted, Mr Bindweed attacked him. Mr Bindweed pointed out that his only possible weapon had been a paperknife, and it was inconceivable that this should have been the murder weapon. He also absolutely denied receiving any money from Acquisitions R Us.
Bindweed stated that Horatio Goode had spent a surprising amount of time in the Mega, Inc building for someone who did not actually work there, and suggested that his easy, charming ways might have led him to seduce any of the flighty young women in the Accounts Dept into handing over company secrets.
Horatio Goode
Pointed out that seducing young women was not really his thing, and that he had no access to the Mega, Inc accounts.
He claimed that the money he had received from sales of his Mega, Inc shares had been donated to the worthy cause of the Drones Club Charity Tiddlywinks Championship. Yes, it was a large sum, but what was money, compared with the social distinction of being a member of the best club in London? One which, moreover, had honoured him with a named Cloakroom Peg. [There followed an extended and extraordinarily dull speech by Mr Goode on the theme of the Good Eggs who had been members of the Drones Club in the past. Our interrogator woke up when Mr Goode mentioned Sir Alfred as an example of a Bad Egg who would never have been invited to join.]
Mr Goode suggested that it would be sensible to discover the identity of the woman who telephoned 'Papa' Razzo on 22nd December with the leaked information about Mega, Inc's alleged difficulties. Goode knew it was a woman because he had been in bed with Razzo when the call came through. It was his (Goode's) birthday.
All sorts of nasty business going on, wasn't there? No doubt many interesting speculations will spring into your mind as you ponder the evidence. So - speculate! How was Sir Alfred killed? Why was he killed? And most importantly, Who Dunnit?
There have already been quite useful suggestions, so I hope those of you still reading this will offer one another your thoughts in the comments to this post. It's always possible that I might drop in a mite of further evidence, if things seem to be going wildly off track - or if something essential appears to have been forgotten!
I'll probably invite you to post your conclusions on Sunday. The Terrible Truth - and, possibly, banners for the winning detectives - will be along early next week.
