give that wolf a banana
May. 14th, 2022 07:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pensnestSo, I'm thinking that I'll watch the Eurovision tonight, and make notes as I go along. Not quite sure how that will work out, but we shall see. If you are also watching, comments welcome!
2013
Ah, a grand chorus of “All we are saying is give peace a chance. “ Not pointed at all.
Already Graham Norton is being most uninformative. Sigh. He has the camp qualities required to appreciate Eurovision, but he doesn’t actually appreciate it.
Hmm, in the yellow part of the medley, I’m getting definite Circle of Life vibes. Alas that she did not hoist a lion cub aloft. Surely that would be in the spirit of Eurovision?
Lots of unnervingly visceral long red gloves. I like the multicoloured lightsabers.
I like the parade of flags thing. By which I mean, I like the idea of it, but it’s a bit… I dunno, limp?
Ohhhh, Norway. <3
Geez, I’m glad I don’t have epilepsy. Oh dear, these are not very tidy dancers. And oven-ready, too.
Ooh, I love the coat! Can I get a sparkly blue coat?
Only one winner! Unlike all the other years when there have been… what, five? Hmph.
1. Czech Republic
Is that poor girl melting, or drenched in glitter? I think she needs backup dancers. Who can dance. Is playing an electric guitar with a bow a brand new affectation? I may be out of touch. Song is okay but not really exciting me. Despite the ludicrous amount of flashing light and the crumbling Davids I’m underwhelmed by the presentation.
2. Romania
I like the tour of Italy stuff, very beautiful. Ah, more persons bathed in glitter so that they look sweaty. Not loving the look. Nice to see a relatively sturdy bloke dancing. Song is quite fun,, and I definitely prefer this presentation. Lighting less desperate, good action on the stage. Squeak! Okay, I like the glittery undershirt better than the red one.
3. Portugal
Pretty song, nice jammies, nothing more that I can say.
4. Finland
Rock? In Eurovision? Okay then. Beautiful mountains.
Okay, like the balls. Fun presentation, worrying a bit about the singer’s trousers, which look precarious. Oh, dear, don’t do that. Has he been sweat-sparkled? No! Okay, topless is acceptable in that case. Still worrying about the leather pants, which appear to have been borrowed from someone shorter.
5. Switzerland
I like this one. And it’s a relief to have a quiet moment without too many lights flashing. He can’t move but he can put this song across. Fave so far. Yes, I could listen to that one again.
Oh dear, the hosts are going to Do A Bit. Will there be “Jokes”. Oh god.
6. France
A song in Breton? Interesting idea. My foot started tapping right away and I like the harmonies. And the outfits. Slight ‘walk like an Egyptian’ vibe which I was not expecting.
7. Norway
Beast is joining me for this one. Ooh, nice scenery.
Now this is the Eurovision I am here for! Why is there a spaceman? Oh, who cares. Yum yum. Both my feet are reacting now. What I am getting of the lyrics is hilarious.
8. Armenia
GN may have a point about the toilet paper. Ah, more pyjamas. Okay, I’d probably wear pyjamas to perform at Eurovision too. Interesting concept, quite a pretty song but my feet have stopped twitching. Apparently I should score Eurovision songs by foot-twitchiness. Seems fair. Yeah, this one isn’t doing it for me.
Always a bit painful for non-native speakers to do “Jokes”. Just introduce the next bit, peeps, please.
And Graham is wittering on doing namecheck, I’d have thought a bit of commentary might be in order? Oh well… back to the knitting. Oh….. please stop. Please. Stop.
9. Italy
Ah… I don’t understand a word but that is why singers go with Italian vowels. Though I think the glittery one is squeaking a bit. Ooh, don’t poke his eye out, love. I think the shiny one is very very nervous. Like the song quite a lot.
10. Spain
Ooh, scary outfit. Love the jacket of matador glamour, not altogether taken with the suspenders/chaps. Splits and singing, eek. Why is there no corresponding boy-buttock on display? Hmph. Girl has stamina, proper dancing and getting the voice on as well. Didn’t particularly like the song, though.
11. Netherlands
Again with the bit white sneakers. Is this also a thing these days? It makes quite a difference not to be able —meep, totally distracted by the presence of a bright-eyed mouse shuffling about right next to me! Beast has been summoned but has not apprehended it. Woe.
12. Ukraine
Wot a stupid hat. But my toes are twitching again and not because of the mouse. Love the outfits, especially the dreadlocks-and-shreds (??) ones. Like the tuneful bits a lot, the rappy bits rather less. Massive roar, naturally.
13. Germany
Very boyband vibe. Boyband video, maybe. Don’t think there’s a mike on that guitar? Boy is putting a lot of effort in but I’m not convinced, even though I like that fractionally quieter presentation. Quite an interesting song but I doubt I’ll remember it.
14. Lithuania
Beautiful buildings for the intro! I do like the drone tour concept.
Bit of a Bond girl vibe, she has presence. And isn’t relying on the lights to provide all the glamour. Nice job, girl. GN isn’t impressed, but I liked it,
16 Azerbaijan
Wow, Italy is *so* beautiful.
Partially mummified singer on bleachers, I appreciate another rest from incessantly flashing lights. No idea what he’s singing about but it’s reasonably impassioned and quite a nice melody. Hmmm. Interesting.
17. Belgium
I keep expecting somebody to belt it really hard, and so far that hasn’t happened. Maybe the big voices are out of style, maybe it’s the sound system. This guy can sing. Again with a boybandish vibe. I suspect boybands and Eurovision are close cousins. Stand up straight, lad, it helps the pipes. Nice voice, more emphasis on being impassioned than on singing really, really well. I think barbershop has warped me. Oh, a bit of a belt at the end, good lad.
Great pink suit. Terrible timing.
Oh, highlights at breakneck speed again, how nice. Was that a sparkly dancing bull? GN continues to witter pointlessly.
17. Greece
Very humbly beginning, but better sounds now. Mite on the gloomy side. Oh, melted chairs, eek, melting more. Okay then. She swallows the quiet words, which annoys me. Send it forward, girl. Nice calm presentation, no epilepsy inducing lights.
18 Iceland
Going for the ABBA look? Let the sound out, dammit! Drummer is very calm. Dear me, very downbeat. I want bigger voices, dammit! Sell it to me! Underwhelming.
19. Moldova
Oh my god! Yay for obscure Eurovision Absurdity! An accordion, dear me. No idea what is going on but it is delightfully ridiculous, and everyone is bouncing happily.
20. Sweden
Quite like this song. I guess all pop singers swallow the sound. Yeah, decent song. Do not care for the lighting.
Pink suit is speaking again. Losing the will to live.
21. Australia
I - okay, I’m out of touch. Australia, now in Europe. Apparently for several years already.
Awesome outfit! Can’t hear a word though. Oh, that’s better, a touch of the lamberts. The stage managers must be *frantic* in this show. Ah, movement, he’s waddling that train up the stairs. Not a clue what he’s singing about. Can’t do the intense emotional acting, at least, I don’t believe him.
Help. Female presenter singing Volare. Why? I mean… why now?
22. UK
Oh, nice voice, and I can hear the words. Actually singing! Like his glittery outfit too, and he seems to be enjoying himself. Nice, in fact. Quality song.
Oh god, another talky interval. Possibly the size and complexity of the sets means someone has to produce filler. I imagine quite a lot of stations are cutting to advertising….
23. Poland
Another one who knows how to sing forward. Good. Impassioned but not joyous. Wtf are the dancers supposed to be - seaweed? Too much on the stage in a desperate attempt to be interesting, which is sad because the lad can sing, but I’ve already forgotten the song.
24. Serbia
Okay, weirdness is always a good thing and this is very odd. Demented nurse surrounded by medical nuns with dead eyes? Very odd indeed, there should be more of this stuff, hey, Eurovision! Enough with the hand washing. Also, stand up to sing, for goodness sake! Are we inside the aorta now? It has all gone red! Smacking the coronavirus? What? I am seriously confused, but why the hell not, after all.
25. Estonia
He cute. Scampering about with a bit grin, I approve. Song is Eurovision-good, I think. Chorus works, not excited by the verse parts. Crowd seems to be joining in happily, which is nice.
Not gonna vote, don't care enough, but that was quite fun. Best bits were definitely the drone footage of Italy—I *so* want to go to Italy now! I hope Switzerland gets a good score, though.
Sable is being OF NO USE in corralling the mouse. I am unimpressed. It is insouciantly nibbling bits of the carpet and the cat is looking the other way.
I now know how to pronounce Maneskin, which is probably good.
Beast is now off to bed, leaving me slipperiness to exit the room past The Mouse. Sable is also abandoning me. I think I shall get back to my knitting.
2013
Ah, a grand chorus of “All we are saying is give peace a chance. “ Not pointed at all.
Already Graham Norton is being most uninformative. Sigh. He has the camp qualities required to appreciate Eurovision, but he doesn’t actually appreciate it.
Hmm, in the yellow part of the medley, I’m getting definite Circle of Life vibes. Alas that she did not hoist a lion cub aloft. Surely that would be in the spirit of Eurovision?
Lots of unnervingly visceral long red gloves. I like the multicoloured lightsabers.
I like the parade of flags thing. By which I mean, I like the idea of it, but it’s a bit… I dunno, limp?
Ohhhh, Norway. <3
Geez, I’m glad I don’t have epilepsy. Oh dear, these are not very tidy dancers. And oven-ready, too.
Ooh, I love the coat! Can I get a sparkly blue coat?
Only one winner! Unlike all the other years when there have been… what, five? Hmph.
1. Czech Republic
Is that poor girl melting, or drenched in glitter? I think she needs backup dancers. Who can dance. Is playing an electric guitar with a bow a brand new affectation? I may be out of touch. Song is okay but not really exciting me. Despite the ludicrous amount of flashing light and the crumbling Davids I’m underwhelmed by the presentation.
2. Romania
I like the tour of Italy stuff, very beautiful. Ah, more persons bathed in glitter so that they look sweaty. Not loving the look. Nice to see a relatively sturdy bloke dancing. Song is quite fun,, and I definitely prefer this presentation. Lighting less desperate, good action on the stage. Squeak! Okay, I like the glittery undershirt better than the red one.
3. Portugal
Pretty song, nice jammies, nothing more that I can say.
4. Finland
Rock? In Eurovision? Okay then. Beautiful mountains.
Okay, like the balls. Fun presentation, worrying a bit about the singer’s trousers, which look precarious. Oh, dear, don’t do that. Has he been sweat-sparkled? No! Okay, topless is acceptable in that case. Still worrying about the leather pants, which appear to have been borrowed from someone shorter.
5. Switzerland
I like this one. And it’s a relief to have a quiet moment without too many lights flashing. He can’t move but he can put this song across. Fave so far. Yes, I could listen to that one again.
Oh dear, the hosts are going to Do A Bit. Will there be “Jokes”. Oh god.
6. France
A song in Breton? Interesting idea. My foot started tapping right away and I like the harmonies. And the outfits. Slight ‘walk like an Egyptian’ vibe which I was not expecting.
7. Norway
Beast is joining me for this one. Ooh, nice scenery.
Now this is the Eurovision I am here for! Why is there a spaceman? Oh, who cares. Yum yum. Both my feet are reacting now. What I am getting of the lyrics is hilarious.
8. Armenia
GN may have a point about the toilet paper. Ah, more pyjamas. Okay, I’d probably wear pyjamas to perform at Eurovision too. Interesting concept, quite a pretty song but my feet have stopped twitching. Apparently I should score Eurovision songs by foot-twitchiness. Seems fair. Yeah, this one isn’t doing it for me.
Always a bit painful for non-native speakers to do “Jokes”. Just introduce the next bit, peeps, please.
And Graham is wittering on doing namecheck, I’d have thought a bit of commentary might be in order? Oh well… back to the knitting. Oh….. please stop. Please. Stop.
9. Italy
Ah… I don’t understand a word but that is why singers go with Italian vowels. Though I think the glittery one is squeaking a bit. Ooh, don’t poke his eye out, love. I think the shiny one is very very nervous. Like the song quite a lot.
10. Spain
Ooh, scary outfit. Love the jacket of matador glamour, not altogether taken with the suspenders/chaps. Splits and singing, eek. Why is there no corresponding boy-buttock on display? Hmph. Girl has stamina, proper dancing and getting the voice on as well. Didn’t particularly like the song, though.
11. Netherlands
Again with the bit white sneakers. Is this also a thing these days? It makes quite a difference not to be able —meep, totally distracted by the presence of a bright-eyed mouse shuffling about right next to me! Beast has been summoned but has not apprehended it. Woe.
12. Ukraine
Wot a stupid hat. But my toes are twitching again and not because of the mouse. Love the outfits, especially the dreadlocks-and-shreds (??) ones. Like the tuneful bits a lot, the rappy bits rather less. Massive roar, naturally.
13. Germany
Very boyband vibe. Boyband video, maybe. Don’t think there’s a mike on that guitar? Boy is putting a lot of effort in but I’m not convinced, even though I like that fractionally quieter presentation. Quite an interesting song but I doubt I’ll remember it.
14. Lithuania
Beautiful buildings for the intro! I do like the drone tour concept.
Bit of a Bond girl vibe, she has presence. And isn’t relying on the lights to provide all the glamour. Nice job, girl. GN isn’t impressed, but I liked it,
16 Azerbaijan
Wow, Italy is *so* beautiful.
Partially mummified singer on bleachers, I appreciate another rest from incessantly flashing lights. No idea what he’s singing about but it’s reasonably impassioned and quite a nice melody. Hmmm. Interesting.
17. Belgium
I keep expecting somebody to belt it really hard, and so far that hasn’t happened. Maybe the big voices are out of style, maybe it’s the sound system. This guy can sing. Again with a boybandish vibe. I suspect boybands and Eurovision are close cousins. Stand up straight, lad, it helps the pipes. Nice voice, more emphasis on being impassioned than on singing really, really well. I think barbershop has warped me. Oh, a bit of a belt at the end, good lad.
Great pink suit. Terrible timing.
Oh, highlights at breakneck speed again, how nice. Was that a sparkly dancing bull? GN continues to witter pointlessly.
17. Greece
Very humbly beginning, but better sounds now. Mite on the gloomy side. Oh, melted chairs, eek, melting more. Okay then. She swallows the quiet words, which annoys me. Send it forward, girl. Nice calm presentation, no epilepsy inducing lights.
18 Iceland
Going for the ABBA look? Let the sound out, dammit! Drummer is very calm. Dear me, very downbeat. I want bigger voices, dammit! Sell it to me! Underwhelming.
19. Moldova
Oh my god! Yay for obscure Eurovision Absurdity! An accordion, dear me. No idea what is going on but it is delightfully ridiculous, and everyone is bouncing happily.
20. Sweden
Quite like this song. I guess all pop singers swallow the sound. Yeah, decent song. Do not care for the lighting.
Pink suit is speaking again. Losing the will to live.
21. Australia
I - okay, I’m out of touch. Australia, now in Europe. Apparently for several years already.
Awesome outfit! Can’t hear a word though. Oh, that’s better, a touch of the lamberts. The stage managers must be *frantic* in this show. Ah, movement, he’s waddling that train up the stairs. Not a clue what he’s singing about. Can’t do the intense emotional acting, at least, I don’t believe him.
Help. Female presenter singing Volare. Why? I mean… why now?
22. UK
Oh, nice voice, and I can hear the words. Actually singing! Like his glittery outfit too, and he seems to be enjoying himself. Nice, in fact. Quality song.
Oh god, another talky interval. Possibly the size and complexity of the sets means someone has to produce filler. I imagine quite a lot of stations are cutting to advertising….
23. Poland
Another one who knows how to sing forward. Good. Impassioned but not joyous. Wtf are the dancers supposed to be - seaweed? Too much on the stage in a desperate attempt to be interesting, which is sad because the lad can sing, but I’ve already forgotten the song.
24. Serbia
Okay, weirdness is always a good thing and this is very odd. Demented nurse surrounded by medical nuns with dead eyes? Very odd indeed, there should be more of this stuff, hey, Eurovision! Enough with the hand washing. Also, stand up to sing, for goodness sake! Are we inside the aorta now? It has all gone red! Smacking the coronavirus? What? I am seriously confused, but why the hell not, after all.
25. Estonia
He cute. Scampering about with a bit grin, I approve. Song is Eurovision-good, I think. Chorus works, not excited by the verse parts. Crowd seems to be joining in happily, which is nice.
Not gonna vote, don't care enough, but that was quite fun. Best bits were definitely the drone footage of Italy—I *so* want to go to Italy now! I hope Switzerland gets a good score, though.
Sable is being OF NO USE in corralling the mouse. I am unimpressed. It is insouciantly nibbling bits of the carpet and the cat is looking the other way.
I now know how to pronounce Maneskin, which is probably good.
Beast is now off to bed, leaving me slipperiness to exit the room past The Mouse. Sable is also abandoning me. I think I shall get back to my knitting.
no subject
Date: 2022-05-15 02:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-05-15 09:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-05-15 01:51 pm (UTC)I thought Australia would have done better than they did, the staging was something else and it seemed like something Eurovision would usually gobble up, but nope.
Your take on Italy made me laugh, apparently, it was a love song, I'll have to take their word for it, but I did like the commitment to the glittery outfit.
I imagine after Måneskin last year Finland were hoping rock could do it again, it's the only reason I can guess that The Rasmus took part. It was nice to see that all these years later, the lead singer was still holding onto the feathers in the hair look.
no subject
Date: 2022-05-15 09:06 pm (UTC)I could see what Italy were going for but there seemed to me to be a tentativeness there that made it kinda not work.
There was a lot of ballading, and really, unless you have a *stonking* ballad it isn't really worth while. Better go with something whacky and catchy and see if you can just grab the mood. Probably.