(no subject)

[pensnest]

I wasn't actually surprised to learn that Lance was persecutor rather than persecuted in High School. His recent Twitter stuff on the subject is honest, and it's understandable that a kid in that position would choose to be on the winning side.

To figure out how I actually feel, I think I'll need to write or read fic about it.

You?

Comments

[trumpeterofdoom.livejournal.com]

If anything I really appreciate the honesty and candidness he's showing. I wasn't expecting him to talk about it on twitter at all.

[pensnest]

Yes. I think it's quite a useful pov, too, as the It Gets Better thing is mostly aimed at the kids who are being bullied. Quite right too, of course, but there are bound to be other gay kids who are hiding, like Lance.

[withdiamonds.livejournal.com]

No, I'm not surprised. He's shown a remarkable ability to protect himself over the years, which I certainly would never blame him for.

[pensnest]

Yes. Hiding/fitting in with the mainstream must have been second nature to him by the time he joined Nsync.

[adelate]

No, it's not surprising - we've heard he was rather a popular guy than an unpopular one, and that would've been different had he been bullied.

I was bullied for being overweight (which, looking back at pictures is ridiculous, because I look like a normal kid) and if there'd been a way to hide that in some way I'm sure I would've tried to do that too. The pressure of being bullied is awful and I can certainly understand wanting to be safe from it. I just wish it wasn't either-or for kids like it often seems to be.

[pensnest]

Being a victim of bullies seems to be such a horribly *random* thing, it must be appalling to be in that position and wonder if it's actually your own fault. I'm sure you know it wasn't yours. It is so awful that there seems to be so much bullying and so little live and let live.

[adelate]

It's basically being different in any way that seems to qualify people to be bullied. I not only looked different but was kind of weird (as I still am today) so you know I was a pretty obvious target. I sort of think of it as a badge of honor these days, because honestly, what's more boring than a bunch of mainstream school kids who are afraid of anything different? I feel proud I could be different and stay that way even with the bullying.

[lauriebreb.livejournal.com]

Yes, I think there should def be a fic written about this. *big grin at Pen*

[pensnest]

Hmm. No doubt I shall find myself pondering it, but whether I'll get an Idea is another matter!

[ariadnem.livejournal.com]

To be honest, it did surprise me. I don't know...you have to make some choices while in school in oder to deal with stuff, but I'd never expected to hear he'd chosen to be a bully in order not to be bullied. He's very protective of himself and I understand it; but still; it was a surprise.

[pensnest]

I think it was rather telling that he said he wanted to be friends with everybody—I can see Lance being like that. It's defensive, too, because if you're friends with everybody, you don't get isolated from the pack... Also, I very much doubt that he recognised it clearly as bullying at the time, it probably just seemed like laughing at jokes and 'teasing'. Even if it did give him that uneasy feeling of "that could be me" deep down inside. I'm sure a lot of people don't recognise themselves as bullies, or indeed recognise the popular kids as bullies. (Think of Fred and George Weasley...)

[ariadnem.livejournal.com]

I know; and like I said, I totally understand it; and I believe that he definitely has a different insight of things right now, but it did take me aback to know that he actually did it. The feeling of being liked by everbody is a strong one and I think we've all done things we don't necessarily agree to or fully understand at some point of our lives.

Maybe, the fact that he actually used the term "bully" got to me. I used to be the type of person who wanted to be liked by everybody myself, but I was from the group that stood up for those who were bullied back in the day. It's just something that's a bit touchy for me, since I've seen friends suffer because of it and if I or other friends hadn't been there, I'm sure they'd made drastic decisiones themselves.

I hope his talking about this help others; really.

[rosenfall.livejournal.com]

I definitely can't look down at him for it, since I did things like this too. I was made fun of for being a poor foreign kid with secondhand clothes back in elementary school. In turn, I would take my angry out on two 'friends' of mine that were consider the nerds. It is remarkable amazing that those two stayed my friends despite those years.

It is the mindset, that if you can't beat them, join them.

[pensnest]

The school situation throws so many things at children and they don't really have the resources to deal with them, I think. Children get bullied for quite random reasons, and it's not surprising that often they perpetrate the same behaviour in their turn - my son was bullied by a kid who had been the victim of bullying. It's very sad.

And the fear of being the victimised one has to be quite a potent force.