Various questions

[pensnest]

And There Was Only One Panel: The Joy of Fanfic, or, Squeeing About Our Favourite Tropes Definitely worth about an hour of your time, particularly if you can play a fairly mindless card game at the same time. Or knit, or something. From the 'Fringe' of WorldCon.

*

Has anybody tried a UBra? I was transfixed by an ad for them on YouTube, and found my way to their site. It looks... oddly appealing/like boobrabbits/possibly worth doing...? I could enperkify my matronly bosom!

There will not, however, be pictures.

*

Spotted on shipperslist's journal, another meme that assumes everyone is an American half my age, but wottheheck, thought I'd have a go anyway.

1.What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now?
The soap in the shower is a Lush one, a brown one that smells of roses, though it is a bit disappointing now that I've had it 'in operation' for a couple of weeks. It has lost its scent, and doesn't lather well.

2. Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator?
No.

3. Is there anything moldy in your refrigerator?
No.

4. Are there any dirty dishes in your sink?
No. (My husband loads and runs the dishwasher, and it's in progress at the moment.)

5. What would you change about your living room?
Ah, well. I have plans to move my computer out, move the shelves of sheet music and books on tape elsewhere, get a large, fabulous corner sofa, and rearrange the furniture (and possibly also the pictures). None of these things will happen until FIL is no longer with us.

6. Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty?
In progress from dirty to clean!

7. Do you have a can of mushrooms in your pantry?
No. I have fresh mushrooms in my fridge.

8. White or wheat bread?
Wholemeal bread, which I assume is what 'wheat' means.

9. What is on top of your refrigerator?
Work surfaces. Both our fridges are under worktop fridges.

10. What color is your sofa?
One is brown (leather), one is dark red.
I'm beginning to recognise that this meme has mutated from one I answered in a similar mood once before. At least once.

11. What color or design is on your shower curtain?
Don't have a shower curtain. Oh, wait, there is one in the house, I think it's plain white.

12. How many plants are in your home?
None. Unless you count FIL's lean-to greenhouse, which is a jungle. Or my elegant plastic orchid.

13. How many candles are in your home?
Quite a few, all in a drawer. They aren't important enough for me to know how many there are.

14. Is your bed made right now?
No, but that just means I haven't straightened the duvet. Come to think of it, Beast may actually have done so before lying on it to do his arm exercises, so maybe the answer is Yes.

15. If you have a coffee pot, what color is it?
There is a percolator, which is white with a poppy design on it, but it doesn't get out much.

16. Electric or standard can opener?
Hand operated!

27. (Okay, we have gone from question 16 to question 27. The internet moves in mysterious ways.) Comet or Soft Scrub?
Neither. There's a whole world out here!

28. Is your closet organized?
Yes, and I call it a wardrobe.

29. What color is the flashlight that you use the most?
We have a pale grey torch for emergencies, otherwise I use my phone.

30. What kinds of things are in your junk drawer?
Not sure I have a 'junk' drawer. I do have many drawers containing stuff that some people might call junk, but they would be wrong.

31. Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home?
Mostly out of a mug, but if I want squash or wine or water, a glass.

32. Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now?
No! If I had iced tea in the house it would not be made in a pitcher, because as far as I'm concerned I don't possess a pitcher.Then again, if I had iced tea in the house it would probably be in the tin it came in.

33. If you have a garage, is it cluttered?
It is… full. There is loft space above it, which is well stuffed, but in an organised way, so I would not describe it as cluttered. FIL's tool bench, otoh, yep.

34. Curtains or blinds?
Curtains, except in one tiny bedroom.

35. How many pillows do you sleep with?
I sleep with my husband, but I use one pillow when I sleep.

36. Do you sleep with any lights on at night?
Not on purpose, but the bedroom radio illuminates the night quite a bit.

37. How many ceiling fans are in your home?
None.

38. How often do you vacuum?
Never \o/ My Beast takes care of that.

39. Standard toothbrush or electric?
Electric. But I do use a standard one sometimes, for variety. I think it does a slightly different job.

40. What color is your toothbrush?
White. The auxiliary one is pink and white.

41. Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch?
We actually have two, though I don't *think* either of them says 'Welcome' on it. Not sure if the 'Welcome' is an essential part of the 'welcome mat' or if the question is just about mats.

42. What is in your oven right now?
Nothing.

43. Is your microwave clean or dirty?
Clean. Ish.

44. Is there anything under your bed?
No, because it is a base that contains drawers. There isn't room for anything underneath except, probably, dust.

45. Chore you hate doing the most?
Well, my Beast takes care of those. I kept the chores I quite like doing—shopping, cooking, ironing.

46. What retro items are in your home?
I don't really know what 'retro' means… I have a Chinese china set from around 1960; a G-Plan sideboard, table and dining chairs—these are probably 'retro' if anything is; some art created by my mother sometime during the 1960s. Do CDs count? Boks on tape?

47. Do you have a separate room that you use as an office?
No. Beast uses the library, my computer is in the lounge. But we do have the intention of changing one of the downstairs rooms into an office for Beast, when FIL is no longer with us.

48. If you have a yard, who mows it?
We have a rather large back garden, and a not-negligible front garden. Beast does the mowing.

49. Is there anything on your kitchen floor right now?
The odd crumb, possibly? The tall stools around the breakfast bar?

50. How many mirrors are in your home?
Um. Seven—one in each bathroom (there are four), one (slightly randomly as I doubt he has ever looked at it) in FIL's bedroom, a double one in our bedroom (part of the wardrobe) and another somewhat random one in bedroom three.

51. Do you have any hidden emergency money around your home?
No, unless you count a pile of pound coins.

52. What color are your walls?
Depends which room I'm in. Dark beige, sage green, white, light beige, twinkly apricot, pink, black-and-white. I think that covers it.

53. Which rooms in your house have wallpaper?
Oddly, only the two ensuite bathrooms.

54. Do you have a peephole in your front door?
No.

55. Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your home?
Ahahahaha. No.

56. What does your home smell like right now?
I… don't know. Not a deliberately generated scent, possibly leftover cooking plus a bit of cat? Though the cats are very considerate these days, and excrete outdoors. In my freshly dug flowerbed, as often as not, but that seems fair.

57. Fave candle scent?
Haven't got one. I don't usually get scented candles.

58. What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now?
None. Sometimes we have Branston.

59. Who are in the pictures you displayed?
My family—there are three of the four of us on one wall, another wall has a portrait of me, of Bun, of Boy, and a wedding picture of Beast+Me, then upstairs we have a family wall on the landing, with the four of us plus parents on both sides and my beloved grandmother. There is also a portrait in charcoal done by my mother, I think of her art teacher.

60. What color is your favorite bible?
What? I mean, what? I have a bible my godfather gave me when I was christened, I think it's dark blue.

61. Do you have plenty of cabinet space in your kitchen?
Oh, yes.

62. Ever been on your roof?
No.

62. Do you own a stereo?
Yes.

63. How many TVs do you have?
We have one, and FIL has one.

64. How many house phones?
I think there are four. There might be five, but I'm not sure if FIL's emergency thingy is attached to a phone or not.

65. Do you have a housekeeper?
No.

66. What style do you decorate in?
My own. I mean, Rococo is tempting but would probably involve too much dusting.

67. Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints?
Yes. Okay, mostly solids, but prints work sometimes.

68. Is there a smoke detector in your home?
Oh yes, and many-limbed thing with a heat sensor in the kitchen and smoke sensors elsewhere. And a carbon monoxide detector.

68. In case of fire, what are the items you would grab if you only could make one quick trip? (And yes, there are two questions 68. Let's not question it, okay?)
The cats, if they hadn't fled already. One of my Kerry Darlington pictures, and the Gorgon's Head done by my mother. And my phone, of course. I would have to mourn my stash.

69. Do you know how to work your electrical box?
I think so, but I've hardly ever had to do it, Beast is better at that sort of thing. I call it a fuse box.

70. What temperature in your home is most comfortable to you?
About 18C, I think. Unfortunately that doesn't work for FIL, who is old and fragile and needs it warmer. I don't like going about in a T-shirt in January.

Comments

[shipperslist]

I didn’t even notice the odd numbering because I was so thrown by the weapon and bible questions!

[pensnest]

I wonder if it's the sort of meme that was supposed to grow, with every new respondent adding a question? Which would explain the mutations somewhat, as I'm sure I've seen some of those questions before. The weapon thingy is *such* an American question, and the bible question is, like, a mental full stop for me. Your *favourite* bible?

[gwenhwyfar1984]

Pretty sure that is what it is. Also, I'm in the US and have no weapons. And a weapon doesn't necessarily mean a gun, it can mean pepper spray or sports bat (like...Cricket?) or fireplace poker. Anything, really. So I don't think it is really an "American" question so much as a question for people who believe in that kind of thing.

[pensnest]

I don't believe I have ever heard a European ask such a question.

[gwenhwyfar1984]

There is a whole world out there, and a lot of countries not in Europe are extremely violent. For example places in the Middle East, Africa, Central America, and South America. You can be sure they make sure to have protection. Especially in those places where it is violent and the police are extremely corrupt, and therefore can not be depended on for help.

[shipperslist]

...I’m Finnish and I’ve NEVER heard anyone I know to have pepperspray or a baseball bat by their bed ”just in case.” It doesn’t mean we wouldn’t know how to improvise if needed.

[gwenhwyfar1984]

You are very lucky to live in a safe country. Many around the world are not so lucky. :(

[shipperslist]

I know.

But also, casually asking if you have ”protection weapons” at home is a Very American Thing to do.

Edit: and that’s not the only thing to underline the fact that this meme is American. Yes, it’s supposed to be silly and fun but it also is endearingly America-cetric which kinda makes it even more fun.

So there’s no real need to start lecturing how we, non-Americans, should instinctively be in the know of what some very American terms mean. Unless, of course, you mean to imply that only the ones who Understand the Lingo are allowed to pass this on.

[shipperslist]

I know, right? I’d understand if the question was about the color of your favorite purse or shoes or shirt but...bible?

[gwenhwyfar1984]

To help with your snark...
Wholemeal bread, which I assume is what 'wheat' means.
Wheat typically means bread made from flour that has not been bleached.

Hand operated!
That is what standard is.

Neither. There's a whole world out here!
I live in the US and use neither. Mainly becasue both I an a housemate are allergic. Pretty sure the meme creator simply took two random brand names.

Yes, and I call it a wardrobe.
Okay... I was taught that a closet was built in where as a wardrobe was a piece of stand alone furniture but okay?

Electric. But I do use a standard one sometimes, for variety. I think it does a slightly different job.
So you do know what standard means!

I don't really know what 'retro' means
retro is a hipster way of saying old.

[pensnest]

To help with your snark...

I think I manage to snark well enough without help, but thanks.

Wholemeal bread, which I assume is what 'wheat' means.
Wheat typically means bread made from flour that has not been bleached.

Ah, right. And as a not-American, I was supposed to derive the definition from the word 'wheat', was I? In this country, bread is not defined as 'wheat', probably on the grounds that it is all made from wheat unless otherwise stated. I used the word 'wholemeal' to be clear, because that is the kind of bread I eat. But I am glad to know what 'wheat' means in the context of American bread, so thank you.

Hand operated!
That is what standard is.

I dare say, but i would call a tin opener a tin opener, and if it were an electric one, I would call it an electric tin opener. The word 'standard' does not come into my description of any tin opener, and, as there are different kinds of hand-operated tin opener, I wouldn't know which kind was meant. My answer was an attempt to be clear. Sorry it didn't work for you.

Neither. There's a whole world out here!
I live in the US and use neither. Mainly becasue both I an a housemate are allergic. Pretty sure the meme creator simply took two random brand names.

Oh, indeed, the creator of the question took two random brand names—I mean, I assume from the question that these are the two leading brands of… whatever, in the US. And yet I have heard of neither Comet nor Soft Scrub. I literally do not know what these products are for. Are they for washing up (washing dishes, in your parlance), or washing clothes, or cleaning kitchen/bathroom surfaces? Or something completely different? I don't know, because those products are not (as far as I know) sold here.

Yes, and I call it a wardrobe.
Okay... I was taught that a closet was built in where as a wardrobe was a piece of stand alone furniture but okay?

Okay, indeed. My Shorter Oxford English Dictionary defines a 'closet' as "A room for retirement, a private room, a side room or recess for storing utensils, provisions etc,' and 'short for Water-closet', ie a toilet.

Frankly, we don't really have 'closets' in my everyday. We have wardrobes. As it happens, my wardrobe is a wall-length fitted wardrobe, which presumably you would call a closet. I don't. Surely you must be aware that different words have different uses and definitions in different versions of the English language? If not, I suggest you research the word 'thong'.

Electric. But I do use a standard one sometimes, for variety. I think it does a slightly different job.
So you do know what standard means!

Good grief.

I don't really know what 'retro' means
retro is a hipster way of saying old.

Well, I grasped that, but you see, I'm English. As far as I am concerned, nothing I possess is 'old'. My house had its 101st birthday this year, but it isn't an 'old' house. My sister lives in a 16th-century farmhouse—that's old.

Also, 'old' and 'retro' are different concepts. and 'a hipster way of saying old' tells me that 'hipsters' don't have much respect for language.

As defined by the Free Dictionary, 'retro' basically means 'of or designating the style of an earlier time'. By that definition, my answers to question 46 are all perfectly reasonable. Nonetheless, I don't know what 'retro' means to the person who put up the quiz. For a person born in the 21st century, a Britney Spears CD could be 'retro'. For me, it'd just be 'stuff'.

[shipperslist]

*salutes with a cup of properly brewed tea*

[iconis]

I love you and this comment, Pen.

Also please do report on the boob rabbits! I cannot wear strapless bras and can't go without one.

[pensnest]

<3

I have just ordered a pair of boob rabbits, and will report back when they arrive!

[oldtoadwoman]

That Ubra thing looks even more uncomfortable than a standard bra. I can't imagine the sensation of my boobs being taped up like that. (I'd be curious to hear from someone who has tried it but I'm not volunteering as guinea pig.)

[pensnest]

I have, in the distant past, used a stick-on 'bra' that works in a different way, ie you put it under the boob and it lifts and, er, thrusts a bit. Not horrendously uncomfortable, not particularly attractive in effect. The UBra looks... I'm not sure whether it looks as if it'd work, and in all honesty I don't really *need* an invisible bra, but I'm sorta tempted. Of course, the site has plenty of glowing recommendations, but then, it would, wouldn't it.

[frausorge]

I have to say I am skeptical of the UBra's ability to handle cup sizes above DD. I think I'd rather try stays...

[pensnest]

I suspect a really good corset would be much more comfortable and more effective... still, I dunno. I may allow myself to be tempted, in which case I shall Report Back!

[brandywine28]

I want to believe. To trust. I want to be the kind of person who tries new things and embraces life. I want that so badly. But I keep picturing those little adhesive boob cups sproinging off my chest while I'm out in public and hearing the hilarious jack-in-the-box sound effect that will surely accompany that action and -- I can't. I can't!

[pensnest]

I giggled for five minutes straight when I saw your reply. I am definitely going to try the boob rabbits, and will report back.

[manna]

The UBra looks interesting. On the one hand (boob?) it's completely impossible to find a bra that fits me so maybe I should give them a go, but on the other hand, I never wear a bra anyway so it seems like a waste of money. On the third tentacle, there are very rare occasions I wear something that would look better with a bra, so. Hmm.

[pensnest]

I have just ordered a pair, because, well, boob rabbits, I suppose. I shall report back!

[turlough]

I'm looking forward to hearing your verdict!

[rikes]

I feel like I must have done this meme before but I might do it again, as I have definitely moved flats since.

I'm not necessarily looking for any lift, but I hate bras and would probably never wear one if visible nipples weren't quite so frowned upon. So the boob rabbits are quite tempting. Looking forward to your review!